“As abuse often
begins in teenage relationships, preventive programs are essential to ending
the cycle of domestic violence. Everyone has the responsibility to step up and
end violence against women.”
Ulester Douglas,
Director, Training for Men Stopping Violence, Atlanta, GA
I thought of this quote when I
watched singer/dancer Chris Brown give an electrifying performance during the
recent Grammy Awards. I wondered, as the audience cheered and clapped, if he
had really repented for having been physically abusive towards the singer, Rihanna
with whom he was living at the time, or if he was still the same insecure young
man who had allowed his anger to morph into rage, turning the woman he
supposedly loved into his punching bag back in 2009.
Only time will tell if he has learned
to take responsibility for those actions and managed to turn his thinking about
women and violence around.
In the meantime, we all have a
collective responsibility, to do our part to end violence against
women whether it’s taking place in Hollywood or in the house next door.
The overall annual cost of domestic violence here
in Canada is in excess of $6.9 billion. That’s to cover lost wages plus a range
of services victims of violence need, from police intervention, employment
insurance, medical costs, counseling and legal costs, child-protection
agencies, food banks and temporary shelters.
In the city where I live, which is
not even the largest in the country, police receive 15,000 conjugal violence
calls annually.
Of those, an average of 22 a year, end
up being homicides.
The assumption that things
automatically improve once a woman walks away from violence to re-start her
life, is to grossly simplify the facts. Women who have been abused have a
higher need to visit emergency rooms, rely more on food banks, require longer
employment insurance payments and use legal aid even years after their ordeal. Recent
research out of the University of British Columbia cites females who end
relationships because of violence, continue to be plagued by health issues, legal troubles
and economic hardships long after the event, translating into a cost of $13,162
annually per woman.
Here are four things we could do
that could make a difference:
·
Find out what the stats are for your
city/town.
·
Talk about them to start a dialogue
and brings awareness to your community.
·
Donate time, money and/or clothing
to organizations that work to protect abused women and children.
·
Make sure to teach your sons/nephews/students
to express anger constructively and to treat females respectfully.
Because the
real cost of domestic violence is a society full of emotionally wounded
children, some of whom will grow up to be bullies, while others will become
their victims.
